Restoring the balance

Today I am 45. Today I am the same as I was yesterday when I was 44.  Except that today I am a little bit older. I dreamed only last night that I was my child self being held in the arms of my self as a much older woman with wrinkles and wisdom.

Today I find myself seeking balance. Balance in work and art and rest. Balance between child self and wise woman self. Balance in relationships.

I feel that I have stolen but a small and precious piece of the world’s enormous heart. I hold it shakily, tenderly, in grateful and greedy hands. The world would run off with my entire soul. (Not even a ransom note.) In this, too, I feel the need to restore balance.

The shadows may be lengthening, but soon the balance will be tipped by Nature, and again the sun will be ascendant. Whether I seek it or not, this balance also will be restored.

Still the clock ticks. Still the trees strip and the frost spreads across the pane. And still we wait for God to speak in the most unexpected ways.

Happy birthday to me.